


Red-Breasted Fox

by indeliblestars



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, F/M, Fourth Year, M/M, Post-Canon, TFC, robin cross - Freeform, the foxhole court - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-11-09 09:17:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11101536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indeliblestars/pseuds/indeliblestars
Summary: Robin Cross has signed to Palmetto State Foxes and she still cannot decide if that is a mistake or not.





	1. Decision

**Author's Note:**

> So ever since I read Nora's excerpt on her, I have loved Robin Cross. I find her character really interesting and so I would like to explore her. So I decided to write this fic for myself and for anyone else who is interested in Robin. I hope I do her justice and I hope you enjoy my version of her story.
> 
> \- Skye.

Robin remembers the first time she ever saw an exy game.

She was five and it had been five nights in that boarded up room until Steven let her out for dinner. A plate of chicken and fries had been put out for her on a little round table, a table with two chairs around it: a small stool and a big chair of importance. Robin had sat on the small stool, already knowing her place in her prison, and hadn’t said a word about the fact that she was vegetarian. That she had been vegetarian her whole life up to that point. No, instead, she just ate the food. Because she was hungry and she was scared and the stomach ache that she got from eating meat for the first time, for eating for the first time in five days, was nothing compared to what could’ve happened if she refused. 

Steven sat on the big chair and put his (bare) feet up on the table. With his food balancing on his stomach, he picked up a remote and typed a channel number on the shitty TV cemented on the wall. The channel that came up was playing something loud, active and bright. All the opposites of Robin’s new rotten room.

Robin doesn't remember who was playing who (she was five) but she does remember this: it stole Steven’s attention. She finally wasn’t on watch. She also remembers this: it stole her attention. Neither of her parents had ever been big sports fans, they were your artsy, creator types, so Robin doesn’t think she had ever seen any sports game before ever. It was awesome. 

Robin has always been good at stepping into other people’s shoes and in that moment her little self slipped into the goalie’s shoes and deflected everything coming her way. A racket at hand and a goal to her back as she swung and obliterated everything. 

Looking up at the blur of team colours and sweaty players Robin thought: that is strength. That is transcendence. That is freedom. All the things that Robin wanted and needed in that moment.

Exy was what she wanted and needed.

This is what Robin thinks about now as she anxiously twirls her phone around in her hand. That along with this: it has been a month. A month since David Wymack set up a meet-and-greet with her coach and offered Robin a place on the Palmetto State University’s exy team: the foxes. 

She still doesn’t understand why she is being recruited. Coach Wymack said that Andrew Minyard had picked her out but why that was any reason to look over her violently mediocre Exy stats Robin didn’t know. She didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve anything. She wanted it, needed it, but didn’t deserve it.

Anyway, Robin was petrified. Scared. Weak as always. How was she suppose to play for a college team? How was she suppose to go to college, period? Palmetto state was so far away from home. There would be no escape. This is why the answer to joining the foxes is no as she finally makes herself type out the number on the top of the form given to her.

It takes ages for someone to pick up the phone and Robin thought that it was going to ring out. However, at the last moment, someone voice crackles through, “Hello, hello Nicky Hemmick here. Astounding backliner for the foxes but more importantly astoundingly hot. How may I be of assistance?” The boy, Nicky, was obviously talking for a crowd as well. Well, Robin assumed. There was no other explanation for answering a phone that way.

“Is Co-- Wy--,” Robin stumbles over her words not sure what to call Coach David Wymack. What this Nicky would refer to him as. God, not even a sentence in and she’s already fucking this up. She wishes her mom would have done this for her but she said that the coach deserved an answer from Robin herself, it’s the least she could do if since he offered her such a great opportunity. Obviously, her mom was right but that didn’t mean that she wasn’t sick with anxiety right now. Eventually, she settled on, “Is David there?”

There’s a pause at the other side, a moment to think, before recognition kicks in and Nicky says, “Oh, you mean Coach.”

Robin doesn't say anything to that because her only answer is:  _ of course I mean your Coach _ and that would just rude.

Over the phone Robin hears background talking as Nicky whispers to whoever is with him, he turns back to the phone and asks, “Who is this?”

“Um, Robin?” Robin says sounding so unsure of her own name it’s ridiculous, “Robin Cross.”

This time when Nicky talks to the people with him he doesn’t bother to lower his voice, or forgets to, “Ooh, Andrew it’s your recruit. Who placed bets that she’d actually phone back? No. Andrew, don’t walk off. Eye contact and everything. Why do you hate me so?”

She manages to hear someone else respond with, “That pathetic girl? Who would bet that she would say yes? Just let her refuse us and that weight can be off my mind. She shouldn’t be recruited just because Coach loves a sob story. She’s more of an amateur than fucking Josten.”

“Who asked you, Jack?” Somebody else shouts, “Nobody cares what you and your oh, so mighty self thinks.” 

“I do.” Some girl says.

“Yeah, Sheena, that’s because you live up Jack’s asscrack. Go find someone’s else's ass to crawl into for a change.”

It keeps going like this. Fiery shots, one after another. It’s another reason to reinforce Robin’s decision to reject the offer but what that boy (Jack was it?) said pesters at her mind. That nobody had faith that she would join and they made bets that she wouldn’t. Something spiteful swarms from a crevice from inside her and suddenly she wants them all to lose. To prove them fucking wrong, even if they were right. The spite makes all the reasons in the for section to join PSU foxes comes to mind when Robin had been suppressing them. Justifying her reasons, her fear, to not do what she really wanted. What she needed. 

She thinks of the phrase, cutting off your nose to spite our face. Then she spits on it in her mind because Steven taught her that. She isn’t cutting anything.

“Nicky,” Robin calls at him, trying to get his attention back. He hears and shushes the people around him but it only ends up in more conversation in the end.

That is until someone is telling Nicky to hand them the phone in a commanding voice.

“Oh, captain, my captain,” Nicky mocks but still doesn’t hesitate in relinquishing the phone on to his captain. 

“Hi, this is Neil Josten. Is this Robin Cross?” Neil’s voice is both softer and harder than Robin would’ve imagined. She’s read about Neil Josten, of course she has, all the shit that went down in his first year at Palmetto State. Murder Daddy and all. Robin thought it would make her fearful but instead, she feels more relaxed. Like this Neil could understand her.

“Yes,” Robin answers, keeping it short. Less likely for mistakes then. 

“You can just fax over your signed copy of the contract.”

“Oh...um...I…” 

“Listen, Robin.” There is a halt in the conversation and muffled noises in the background. It sounds like Neil is clearing people out, it’s not until all background noises diminish that Neil finishes what he started to say, “Andrew is signing you and Coach agreed, I’m not letting you pass up this opportunity.”

Robin pauses, not being able to stumble out a response to that, until she spurts out, “I’m too scared.” It feels weird saying that out loud to a stranger. But there’s no turning back now. She has already fucked up this phone call royally.

Robin can practically hear Neil mulling over that answer before he says, “I’m going to tell you something, so was I when I was being recruited. But my love of exy was enough to make me sign and it turned out to be the best year of my life. Do you love Exy?”

“Yes.” Robin says and it comes out as an earnest whisper.

“Then come and be a fox. I found a home here, Robin, a family. Maybe you can too. Coach is all about giving chances, as many chances as a person needs. Take your chance even though it’s scary.” And at that the line went dead. Neil had nothing else to say to Robin.

_ How dramatic _ , Robin thinks. But at the same time, there is also a niggling belief in her that what Neil said could be true for her. That joining the foxes could be the best thing to ever happen to her.

Robin lies down on the bed she was sitting on and chucks an arm over her eyes. She needs to think. She needs to decide. But deep down she knows that a decision has already been made and that Neil Josten made it for her.


	2. Arrival

When Robin arrives at Palmetto State University she’s late.

She had been required to move into the athlete’s dormitory on June 9th and practices started a day after that. But when her dad drives her onto campus it is the 29th. This had been because of many reasons that Robin doesn’t care to delve into but the main underlier of the cause was anxiety.

The later Robin left it the worse it got but today her mom had packed the car and reminded her that she signed the contract. She is going to be a PSU Fox whether she likes it or not and she is going to be a student that goes to classes whether she likes it or not. Actually, she wasn’t that harsh about it. Her mom is so, very gentle with Robin. But she did pack the car and she did remind Robin of these things. She couldn't drive her (she had work and it's a long drive) so her dad took up the job.

A phone call with Wymack (not one that Robin performed herself) informed Robin to meet him at the stadium. So the Foxhole Court, an attention-seeking building with it’s bright white and bold orange complete with fox paw prints, is where Robin’s dad parks up. He parks at the curb closest to the stadium and gets out before Robin does. Robin stays curled up in the passenger seat and stares at a fixed point on the barbed wire fence that surrounds the stadium with intensity. She continues staring as her dad raps on her window lightly and asks if she wants to come out.

It’s not until she sees someone stepping out a narrow door between two gates in her peripheral vision, that Robin shifts her line of sight. Her eyes follow David Wymack as he walks over to her dad and greets him. She watches as they exchange adulty conversation from the safety of the car. She stays put until her dad gives her a look and she knows that if she doesn't get out the car now she truly will be pathetic. Not that she isn’t already but still.

So Robin sucks in a breath and opens the car door and gets out. In doing so she ends up face-to-face with Wymack and has to slide around the side of the car to get a sufficient distance away. When she achieves that she nods at Wymack and says a meek, “Hello.”

“Hello, Robin. I’ve chatted with your father but I think we should go inside before we talk.”

“Okay,” Robin says and goes into action. She moves to the truck and pops it, ignoring her luggage and going straight for what she needs: her goalkeeper’s racquet.

She holds it tightly in her grasp as she shuts the trunk and moves to the side of her dad and across from Wymack.

“You won't need that,” Wymack informs Robin.

“I know,” Robin informs him back. It's all she offers him and she tightens her grip on the racquet, if that's even possible. She lets her gaze wonder as her dad fills Wymack in on Robin’s raging mental issues--not that it hasn't been discussed many times before. Ones which lead Robin in needing her racquet to survive the outside world.

Their conversation comes to a close, ending on something about bees. Robin really doesn't know how it got to that but she doesn't care to question. She snaps back to attention and looks at the two men before her expectantly because she doesn't have the guts to say the thought in her head which is, _are we going up there or what?_ She's also too polite.

They get the hint from her look though and Wymack says, “Should we go?”

 _What a great suggestion, wish I'd thought of that_ , Robin's mind thinks sarcastically. Robin’s outer-self does nothing but nod shyly.

Wymack heads to the door he came out of and Robin goes to follow him until she realises her dad isn't moving.

She stops and asks, “Aren't you coming?”

“I think it's time I leave you now, sweetheart.”

Panic bubbles up Robin’s throat making her want to throw up, “But I thought you were staying here tonight! You can't drive home again now! I thought you got a hotel!”

Robin sees the _calm down_ on her dad’s lips but he doesn't say it, he never does, instead he says, “Yes, that's true. I just meant I should go to the hotel now. I'm not a part of whatever is going to happen when you walk over that threshold. This is yours and yours alone and I know that scares you but I cannot be there with you anymore.”

Robin purposely counts her breaths so she doesn't hyperventilate, “But we're going for dinner, right?”

“Of course. I'll pick you up later.”

“Right. Okay.” 

“You'll do great, Robin.” Her dad promises pulling her into a hug and kissing her forehead before letting go.

Robin looks over her shoulder at Wymack who is waiting.

“Bye-bye.” Her dad prompts.

“See you later,” And with that Robin turns her back on her dad and walks over to Wymack. When she reaches him Wymack punches in the code to the electronic keypad to unlock the door. When Wymack explains the code’s system and what the code is now, it’s white noise to Robin’s ears. She walks through the entrance feeling numb and panicked at the same time. She feels this feeling a lot and she’s still trying to work out how that can be.

 

* * *

 

Robin is looking at photos in the lounge. They cover the walls of the lounge and are of foxes; old and new. From pictures of the foxes’ ex-captain Dan Wildes smiling with other ex-members to the one and only Kevin Day to less famous fresh-faced ones. They all look so happy captured up on the wall like that and it makes Robin almost believe that she can be happy here too. But then she remembers that photos rarely demonstrate real life. The photos holding truth are most likely scarce.  

There is one that catches Robin’s eye. It’s of Neil Josten and Andrew Minyard. They’re wearing matching coats in what looks like an airport. It’s cute and makes Robin wonder if they’re together. Robin isn’t sure, her upbringing blurred what is love and what is hate to her, so sometimes she has trouble differentiating from the two. She touches it, helplessly, maybe, but as soon as she realises she has left a fingerprint on the glossy sheen of the photo she steps away from the wall altogether.

Robin looks around the lounge and goes to the door to explore elsewhere. Wymack had said she could look around. He went to his office to retrieve her dorm key and do some paperwork or whatever. Robin was kinda zoned out (she tends to do that a lot) during the conversation. But she does know that Wymack said he’d be a while and she could nosy about.

So that’s what she does. She strolls past Wymack’s office again with Abigail Winfield’s office opposite it and down the hallway, lightly scraping her racquet against the wall as she walks, and passes doors that don't interest her. Although she does have a quick glimpse into the locker room titled LADIES and is almost blinded by the orange of it. The horrible shade of orange that is this team’s colour symbolised nothing of the copper colour of a fox but Robin supposes she will get used to it. If she lasts.

The hall ends in a large room that doesn’t particularly interest her either. What interests Robin is the place it leads to: the stadium. Robin presses herself forward through the room to try an orange door. It isn’t locked and opens under her fingers so that Robin is able to step through into a brightly lit space--the stadium probably hasn’t been shut down since morning practice. 

The illuminated stadium is beautiful in it’s alternating white and orange and Robin takes back her harsh thoughts about the shade of orange. Robin paces down to the court slowly (she never rushes) in awe. She reaches the court walls in time looking at the overhead scoreboards and vented ceiling right up to the moment she’s directly in front of the plexiglass.

Robin ends up going from pressing her face softly against the plexiglass to centre court spinning in the middle of a fox paw printed on the ground, to where she has always wanted to be. She stands at the goal looking out, taking in the entire court, this marvellous, marvellous thing. It’s better than anything she has ever seen on TV, because this is real life and she’s standing with her flimsy racquet at a home goal. It’s terrifying but for once it’s one of the good kinds.

Steven’s voice echoes in her head,  _ You will never step foot in an exy stadium, ever.  _ And a smile so malicious it could be perceived as twisted cruelty spreads across Robin’s face at defying those words. It’s a pure grin and lasts long enough to make Robin’s cheeks hurt.

Steven had said those words to her when he had surpassed his sweet daddy role. Robin had been asked Steven about going to see a game live in the way she used to do. She always tried to convince Steven to take her out in her hopes she could escape if he did, she also tried to make him think it was his idea, turned out she wasn't that conniving. It only pissed Steven off. Made him feel like his “daughter” didn’t love him.

Robin places a hand firmly against the wall at her back and feels the weight of her racquet under her other palm and takes comfort in it. It makes her feel real and prevents her from spinning off into her past. Because thinking about Steven is a slippery slope to mad-ville and Robin wants to be present for this moment in her life.

The smile drops from Robin’s face as she closes her eyes and focuses on what is under each of her palms. And she stays like that until someone says, “I recognise that,” and she jumps out of her damn skin.

The someone is Wymack of course and he stands by the entrance to the court with Robin didn’t notice he pushed through.

Robin coughs and looks at her feet, they’re clad in purple trainers, “I, um, probably shouldn’t have come here.” And Robin isn't sure if she's referring to the court or the whole of PSU in general.

“Why did you, then?” Wymack asks and it surprises Robin enough to make her look up. Wymack stands with raised eyebrows and he’s got this look about him, like he’s trying to figure Robin out.

“Huh?” Robin says, so eloquent, such a way with words. She looks away again.

“If you believe you shouldn’t be here why are you?”

“I guess because I wanted to.”

“Would it make you feel better if I said that you are allowed here?” Wymack asks, probably because Robin feels extremely uncomfortable and it’s definitely showing.

“Not really,” She forces herself to look back at Wymack’s face, “I don't really like rules.” And she really doesn’t. The only way Robin copes with people is by assuming that they are her equals and hold no authority over her since being subordinate brought nothing but pain to her. She doesn’t like anything that reminds her that some people do hold that authority and rules are definitely a contributor to that. She doesn’t like referring to people with labels such as Sir, Madam.  _ Coach _ . (She supposes she is going to have to get over that one though). Basically, anything that isn’t people’s actual first or last names are iffy with Robin. The exceptions are Mom and Dad. Mother and Father. Mom and mother because Robin is able to do what she likes with those words and therefore doesn’t associate it with a higher ranking. Dad and father because she wants to reclaim those words, wants to snatch them out of Steven’s grubby hands and place them where they rightfully belong. So even though saying “father” sometimes made her feel ill Robin refuses to not let her dad have his proper title.

“Well you better follow them anyway,” Wymack says now, “I have enough troublemakers on this team. Don’t need to add another.”

“I have issues with authority but it’s nothing that’ll cause you any problems.”

Robin thinks she might have confused Wymack at that, or perhaps made him curious, but he doesn’t address it again. Instead, he says, “There’s someone here to see you. Come up and meet her.”

“Who?”

“Abby, the team nurse. She can get your physical out of the way now before you go to the dorm.” The way Wymack says Abby’s name with a softer lilt, hardly recognisable but there, as if the word is precious makes Robin wonder if they are also together. Are all the foxes banging?

“Sure,” Robin says and follows Wymack out and leads her back to the offices. 

Abigail Winfield is waiting outside her office and smiles at her, “Hey, Robin. You ready for your physical?”

Robin shrugs in reply and this time follows Abby to a medical room. Abby went straight in, turning the lights on on her way, and Robin is just as quick. She goes straight to the weight machine and takes off her shoes before standing on it.

“You know what you’re doing,” Abby comments as she walks over and talks note of her weight and height and whatnot. Robin didn't even look at the measurements, she knew them by now. 137 lbs and 5 foot 11.

“I’m used to Doctors,” Robin answers, thinking of her monthly check ups and all the therapists and the months she spent in the hospital after she was found.

Abby went through all the normal stuff: blood pressure checks, tests on reflexes, all the way down to less normal checks like the ones for track marks. Robin doesn’t hesitate to take off her top when asked to, she’s too desensitized to people seeing her body to care.

Abby’s reaction is one of the more muted ones out of the lot that Robin has gotten over the years. The scars that line Robin’s stomach and side are now flesh-coloured and translucent but bumpy along the seams. However, Robin doesn’t possess too much warped tissue-- it’s quality over quantity with her. Marks weren’t Steven’s thing. What he was into didn’t tend to leave permanent traces. The exception are the burns marks like a necklace around her neck that happened when choking was no longer enough. When Robin had stopped resisting and a little extra heat was needed.  

Abby’s reaction tells Robin that she’s seen worse but she does still look concerned, the sadness in her eyes of someone who has never been through trauma but is used to seeing it exposed on people.

Abby gives Robin the all clear for track marks and she pulls her top back on and waits in the silence of the room. When Abby doesn't continue with any more checks Robin looks up to see a question on her lips.  

“I’m fine,” Robin answers before Abby can ask.

Abby almost winces at that, “I’ve heard people say that and not mean it before.”

“There’s nothing you can do or say that hasn’t been done before.”

“Okay,” Abby says smiling at her softly, everyone always smiled at Robin softly, “We’re done.”

When they make it back to Wymack he informs them both that he’s called the team for a meeting. All of Robin's behalf no doubt. And apparently one of them can drive Robin over to the dormitory after they are done. 

Robin is in the lounge, where she started, before long waiting on her new teammates. She has picked a couch to sit on and makes herself as tiny as possible as she waits. And waits. And waits. 

Until the first of the foxes start to prowl in.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Wymack and Abby


	3. Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: description of a panic attack.

They come in packs.

The first are the girls: there are three of them but Robin knows there is a fourth besides herself. These three move as a unit with the strongest link being a stocky white girl with a buzzed head. She wears sparkly blue eyeshadow and gives Robin a half-hearted glance before pulling up a chair as the other girls do the same. The only one who properly acknowledges Robin is a dark-skinned girl with an afro-ponytail and doe-eyes. Oh, wait. There’s one more. This time a boy rushes in and pulls up a chair with the girls. He’s comprised of dark muscled flesh, nice lips and small hands and sits snugly beside the plain but pretty girl in a hijab that is actually the colour of a fox in all its copper beauty. 

Next is a pair of guys: they come into the room jostling each other about and laughing. One white, one Mexican. One small, one tall. One dealer, one goalkeeper. Both with the same cheeky look about them. They are the epitome of best bros. They hustle over to the couch that Robin sits on and they take their places on the back so that their legs are beside Robin and she has to look up to see their faces. The white one winks at her and the disgust at that must of shown on her face because the boy blushes and looks away haughtily. The Mexican one asks, “What’s with the racquet?” because Robin’s racquet is placed across her lap. Robin doesn't answer him.

Then comes another pair: a guy with a man-bun and a girl with a messy-bun, both white, strut in the room and their whole atmosphere just screams:  _ we’re assholes because we’re insecure _ . The guy has a massive crooked nose and the girl has one of those faces that you can’t tell whether it’s is pretty or ugly because their facial features are just too weird. They both saunter their way to the couch until they are standing right in front of Robin. The guy says, “You’re in our seats.” Robin looks at the space beside her which leaves enough room for the two of them. She lifts her racquet horizontal to add to the room.

“No,” The girl says, “Move.”

Robin ends up standing in the corner.

Which is the right decision on her part because the spare couch is taken up by the last pack. The upperclassmen step into the room and take their seats on the couch. Robin keeps her attention on Neil Josten and Andrew Minyard instead of the twin and the cousin. The men behind Robin being here. It takes a matter of moments for Robin to deduce that, yes, they are together. This mainly comes from the massive heart eyes that filter Neil’s eyes whenever his gaze is on Andrew. And his gaze is constantly on Andrew until the point they snag on Robin. Robin allows for the eye contact to hold--ice blue to amber. They share a look that holds the question _why_ but also a welcome. Then it’s over with and Neil is looking to Andrew to see if he’s noticed, Robin. Robin looks to Andrew too. He undoubtedly has noticed Robin but he doesn’t even spare a slight glance at her.

_ Why did you pick me? _ Robin thinks before her personal space is intruded.

Nicky Hemmick smiles with an extended hand to Robin, “Hey, I’m Nicky. We talked on the phone that one time.”

Robin takes a couple spaces back from Nicky but accepts his handshake and replies, “I remember.”

“Sorry about that, Coach had an errand to run. But, hey, welcome to South Carolina. Was your travel alright? How come you are late getting here?”

Robin kind off just stares at Nicky then starts a series of failed attempts of answering him before she’s saved by Wymack starting the meeting.

He wastes no time and goes straight into it, “So this is Robin Cross, our new goalkeeper sub.” Wymack says and continues to introduce the others to Robin. She comprises a mental list of them:

  * **Linda Conway:** _striker_ \- buzz cut
  * **Candice Brosh:** _backliner_ \- doe-eyes
  * **Rashida Razek:** _offensive dealer_ \- copper hijab
  * **Leo Myracle:** _backliner sub_ \- nice lips, small hands
  * **Tristan Green:** _dealer sub_ \- white bro
  * **Elliot Rodriguez:** _goalkeeper_ \- Mexican bro
  * **Jack Sims:** _striker_ \- crooked nose
  * **Sheena Jefferson:** _defensive dealer_ \- weird facial features
  * **Andrew Minyard:** _goalkeeper_ \- blonde midget #1
  * **Aaron Minyard:** _backliner_ \- blonde midget #2
  * **Neil Josten:** _striker_ \- auburn midget
  * **Nicky Hemmick:** _backliner_ \- cousin by blood??



Wymack goes over things that Robin is sure is only for her benefit and she feels like a nuisance but then he luckily goes onto other topics that aren’t just for her and she feels slightly better. Robin has trouble keeping focus through the duration of the meeting. Her attention span is not something to be admired. Her mind’s so big, it’s so heavy, that Robin finds it hard to lift her head up and stay in reality sometimes. 

She’s been labelled as a daydreamer many times, especially by her old teacher, but Robin doesn’t really think of herself like that. Her thoughts don’t count as dreams. Dreams are supposed to be good.

When the meeting is over Robin has to endure some interaction and greeting from the foxes, not all of them pleasant. Hell, none of them pleasant. Some are bearable though. But only just. She gets through it and comes out the other end sitting in the backseat of Rashida’s car as she drives her, along with Candice, Linda and Leo, to the dormitory. Or Fox Tower as it is apparently referred to. 

When they’re parked up and getting out Linda asks Robin the same question that was asked by the others when she got in the car, “Where’s your luggage?”

“I’m getting it from my Dad later. When we go to dinner,” Robin explains. It’s enough to get Linda walking across the parking lot and as a consequence everyone else.

“Don’t you want to go to dinner with us?” Rashida asks, looking to Robin with a raised eyebrow but a smiling mouth.

“I doubt it,” Candice says pushing the door to the building open for everyone and holding it open as everyone walks in but dropping it on Robin who trails behind, “She didn’t even want to turn up never mind go to dinner with the likes of us.”

“What’s wrong with us?” Leo says all affronted to Robin as if she was the one who said anything.

Candice snorts, “Oh, come on Leo, if you don’t know we’re fucked up by now you shouldn’t be a fox.”

“What do you mean ‘by now’. I’ve only been here for a couple weeks. The time when Robin was supposed to show up. Just because she has only appeared now doesn’t mean I ain’t new.”

“A couple weeks is all you need to deduce what fucktards the others are.” Linda says, “And if you haven’t just make sure you stay away from Andrew. He’s a psycho, no question about it.”

Robin wants to say something at that but doesn’t. Just like she doesn’t say anything when the bitching continues further and they’re just slagging people off in the hallway as Robin waits quietly to find out which room is hers.

Eventually, Linda says, “You’re with me,” and walks into a room at the end of the hall. Nobody else follows so it’s just the pair of them that walk into the room. 

Linda gave a shit tour but Robin got the gist. Kitchenette, living room, bathroom, bedroom, all of which are shared and small in a way which Robin knows she won’t grow to be comfortable in. It’s the bedroom they end up in last and it has 3 beds. The one which is left free for Robin is the worst possible choice: the one bunked under the loft bed. But Robin isn’t going to question that either.

Besides Linda her other roommate is Sheena. She’s already sitting on the loft bed and doesn’t take a second after Robin and Linda walk in the room to open her gob, “So why are you only arriving now?”

Robin’s grip tightens on her racquet and she doesn’t answer.

Sheena flings something at Robin and it bounces off her head and rolls away before Robin can determine what it is, “Oi, I’m talking to you.”

“I-” Robin starts.

“I-I-I-I-” Sheena mock-stutters, “Spit it out.”

“I just couldn’t make it until now.”

“But  _ why? _ ” Sheena pesters, she hangs off her bed and gives Robin a  _ well come on _ look.

Robin doesn’t know what to say because she doesn't want to answer but eventually she says, “Mental health issues.” Which is the truth.

“That’s not a real reason,” Sheena says. Robin looks to Linda who shrugs at Robin with a sly smile before dropping onto her own bed and taking off her shoes.

“Well, it’s the only one I’ve got,” Robin says and it’s Sheena’s turn to look at Linda. Sheena then startles Robin by jumping down from her bed and standing right up close to Robin so that she can see all the details of her wide forehead before tilts her head up to look Robin in the eye.

“You know, I read about you,” Sheena says, “We all did. And just because you were kidnapped once upon a time doesn’t mean you’re going to get our sympathy. We’ve all been through shit so you’re not going to get away with pulling the mental health card. Got it?”

_ I’m not playing any card, you fucking bitch, _ Robin thinks but just says, “Okay.” It comes out more snarky than Robin expected and she gets a shove from Sheena for it.

“You may have made your way through life on pity but not anymore. Playing well is the only way you’re going to earn any kindness from me and judging by the state of that racquet you're clinging to, like a little kid with a blankie, I doubt you know what you’re doing. Jack said you’re not Class 1 material so you better learn quickly. ”

Robin opens her mouth to speak but Sheena cuts her off as she adds, “I’m not even going to ask about the racquet. ‘Mental health issues’ right?” Sheena steps back from Robin then. She picks up Linda’s shoes from the ground and flings them lightly on her.

“What the fuck?” Linda says looking up from the phone she was texting on.

“We’re going to eat.”

“What are you on about? We just got back.” She waves a shoe in Sheena’s direction, “I only just took these off.”

“Don’t care.” Sheena says pulling on her own shoes, “Come on.”

“No.” Linda shoots back.

“I’ll pay.”

That gets Linda's shoes back on her feet, “Well, why didn’t you say so.”

“Robin you’re not invited.” Sheena clarifies as if Robin hadn’t already figured.

“She’s going to dinner with her Daddy anyway.” Linda comments, hopping up off her bed and heading to the door.

Sheena follows and the last thing either of them say before they’re gone is, “How sweet.”

They close the door behind them and Robin is left alone.

She immediately sinks down into her new bed and drops her racquet in the process. She replacing it with hugging an uncovered pillow.

"You’re okay", Robin tries to tell herself, "You’re okay." But it doesn’t work because the panicked thoughts override any weak reassurances she can give herself. The panic grows. And Grows. And consumes. Robin wants to reach out for pen and paper and draw something, anything. To focus on the intricate lines her hand weaves but she has nothing. Instead, Robin picks up her racquet again and hugs that along with the pillow but it doesn’t help.

The fear takes capture of her insides, sucking out her air. Bleeding her dry.

_ Weak, _ her mind whispers.

_ Pathetic. _

_ You’ll never be Class 1 material.  _

_ Who are you kidding? _

_ You’ll fail. _

_ Because you don’t deserve it. _

_ You don't deserve anything. _

_ Because you’re a selfish bitch. _

_ It’s all your fault. _

_ In a river. _

_ Because of you. _

_ Why should you get to live? _

_ How dare you think Sheena’s a bitch. _

_ That’s what you are. _

_ You don’t know Sheena’s live. _

_ She probably has good reasons to be cruel. _

_ And if she doesn’t you deserve it. _

_ Deserve it. _

_ Deserve it. _

_ You fucking scum. _

Robin can’t breathe. She digs her nails into her palms trying to use pain to regulate herself. She manages to force a breath out and takes a few wheezy breaths.

It takes Robin a long time to come down and when she does she realises how wet her face is. It only makes Robin cry more. She curls in on herself, pillow and racquet against body, and burrows her face in the pillow. She feels bad about it since it doesn’t have a cover on it yet but it doesn’t stop her.

Eventually, when her hands stop shaking, and her breathing is finally back to normal Robin takes her phone out her pocket. She hits speed dial and he picks up on the first ring.

“Dad,” Robin whimpers.

Robin doesn’t come back from dinner that night. She stays in her dad’s hotel room telling herself she’ll be fine tomorrow.

That it will get better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my poor tragic daughter :'(


	4. Bee (and Katelyn)

It doesn’t get better.

Robin wakes up wanting to blend into the walls, for concrete to close around her trapping herself in and everyone else out. And then at the end of the day, Robin goes to sleep wanting to melt into her bed, to become a puddle that all the foxes can just suck dry--that’s what they’re doing to her anyway. It was bad enough in the beginning--bad enough having to be surrounded by strangers all the time--then they saw Robin play. They saw how much of a low stakes player she is and they got worse. So much worse. 

They hate her and she dislikes them (Robin doesn’t hate anyone) (apart from Steven) but she does really dislike the foxes. Well, apart from Neil, and maybe Andrew but he’s failed to ever talk to Robin so maybe not. Nicky is alright despite being annoying. However, the last of that crew, Aaron Minyard, has not managed to make any impression on Robin at all. But Aaron’s chance to do so is nigh since Robin is paired up with him to go meet with psychiatrist Betsy Dobson.

Apparently, all foxes were required to meet with this woman before the semester begins. Which is very, very, soon and Robin is very, very nervous about it. The start of the semester that is. Robin couldn’t really give a rat’s ass about going to meet yet another psychiatrist.

She’d met countless of them, so many that they all just blend into a mesh in Robin’s mind that spurted the same trivial things. Well, perhaps, trivial is too harsh of a word. They had helped but after a certain point, Robin was helpless. This wasn’t a reflection on the psychiatrists’ abilities but more on her own fucked head.

So, going to meet Betsy Dobson was absolutely fine with Robin. If anything it might provide her with some normalcy in her new life. Something to calm her because it’s common to her and therefore inside her comfort zone.

The familiar feel of the Reddin Medical Center does indeed calm Robin as she steps inside the building with Aaron. Aaron hadn’t talked at all on the drive there but then again neither had Robin. They remain in silence as Aaron signs them both in and she follows him down some hall to where Robin assumes Betsy’s office is. 

When they arrive Aaron speaks his first words, “Do you want to go in first or should I?”

“I--uh--what?” Robin replies, not processing what he means fast enough.

Aaron looks at Robin like she’s a complete idiot and his spot on Robin’s scale of indifference moves down towards dislike, “Half an hour each, one waits out here while one goes in. Do you want to be the first to go in?” Aaron says this with equal parts boredom and condescension and it’s enough to make Robin want to slap him.

But since she’s in no way is doing that she settles for snapping with her voice when she says, “Yes. I’ll go in first.”

Aaron just gives that a sharp nod and then they are interrupted as a woman who can only be Betsy steps out of her office, “Ah, I thought I heard voices out here.”

Betsy Dobson is one of the warmest looking people Robin has ever seen, she’s all smiles and just looks cuddly. But none of that downplays the intellect Robin sees shining in Betsy’s brown eyes, the sharp focus of it.

“Well, who’s coming in first?” Betsy continues, and Robin puts up her hand like she wants to answer a question in a class. Robin cringes at the action straight away but Betsy only smiles at Robin as she says, “You must be Robin.”

“Yes, hello,” Robin takes the hand that Betsy outstretches for her to take. She barely lets Betsy complete her shake before Robin is slipping her hand back to her side, wiping its clamminess on her jeans.

“Good morning,” Betsy says and looks in confusion at the exy racquet in Robin’s hand as most people do, Betsy gestures to the racquet and adds, “You can leave that out here.”

“I don’t want to,” Robin says simply. They can get into that dysfunction in her office. 

Betsy’s answer to is simple as she says, “Alright. Do you want to come in?”

Robin follows Betsy into her office and automatically takes a seat on the couch (she already knows it’s her spot) facing a chair. She looks about the highly organised and arranged room from the glass figurines to the hot plate and kettle on a desk.

“Hello, my name’s Betsy Dobson,” Betsy establishes as her opening, “But you can call me basically anything you want, just no vulgar terms if you can manage that, please. Would you prefer to be called Robin, or Miss Cross?”

Robin actually, physically blanches at the idea of being referred to as Miss Cross, “Robin, please. I don’t like titles, they make me feel like whoever is using them is superior, so I won’t want to refer to you as Dr. if that’s alright?” Robin says this up front because she’s already learned there’s no point of hiding anything from psychiatrists, it’s best to get straight in there, “But apart from that what would you prefer to be called?” 

“Whatever makes you most comfortable,” Betsy informs.

“That would be what you like to be called most.”

Even though Betsy is already smiling she seems to smile more at that, “Then call me Bee.”

“It suits you,” Robin says because it utterly does.

“Thank you, Robin. Would you like some hot cocoa?”

“No, thanks,” Robin says as her automatic response to when people offer her things but quickly changes her mind, “I mean. Yes. Thank you.”

Bee takes two mugs and a container of cocoa out of her desk drawers and gets to work, “You have a sweet tooth?” 

“Major one,” Robin replies.

“Same here. Now, today, as you most likely know, is just a casual appointment so I won’t be analysing what you say for feedback and advice like in formal sessions. We will just be getting to know each other in this session. Have you seen a counsellor before?”

Robin doesn’t try to mask the  _ seriously? _ look that she would with other people, “Of course I have.” Robin says snide creeping into her voice, “I’m sure you know what happened to me, counselling tends to happen after that.”

Bee looks up from the cocoa and Robin can see the clicking in her brain from thinking Robin is a sweet girl to one who may be trouble. This happens with psychiatrists because they are the only people Robin doesn’t censor her rude thoughts for. The full sass comes out. But they can always handle it and Bee can definitely handle Robin if she can handle the rest of the foxes.

“Yes, I heard of what happened. My mother is actually from Newark and I remember when you were taken. When you were on the local news because exy helped you to start public school I found that really inspiring and strong. But today we aren’t here to talk about that, I’m sure that’s what most people want to talk about when they first meet you, but I’m here to get to know you as you are now. We can talk about your past in other sessions if you wish to have them.”

“So you aren’t going to ask why I’m carrying an exy stick around with me either?” That’s what psychiatrists usually started with.

“No, that can be for another time.”

“Alright,” Robin says as Bee finishes up with the hot cocoas and brings them over. She hands Robin hers before sitting down in the chair across from her.

“So, tell me about yourself.”

“I’m going to get existential unless you ask more specific questions.”

Bee chuckles slightly, “Okay, what classes are taking?”

“Fine Art, Photography, Textiles, and Sociology.”

“Sounds interesting. I’m guessing you're into art then?”

“I’m good at it.”

“That’s not the same thing.”

“Yeah, I enjoy it. Kind of. I think it calms me more than anything else, gives me something to focus on. Also, my parents are both creator types so it reminds me of them as well. Makes me feel closer to them.”

“Do you feel like you have a close relationship with your parents?”

“Yes, maybe not as close as I’d like, there’s always this underlying fear that is like a barrier between us, but I love them so much.”

“It’s nice that you get your artistic inspiration from them. Are you excited for your new classes?”

“Nope. I’m absolutely terrified. But picking art subjects might help because I am interested in the content. I probably should have picked more practical subjects but if I did I feel like I would never go to them.”

“You should definitely do what you love, especially if it’ll help you get over your panic about going to classes. You don’t have to worry about them being impractical because for a starter they aren’t and secondly it’s only your first year. Anyway, do classes really matter if you're planning to be an exy player? Do you plan to be court one day?”

“I’ve never thought of it as an option.”

“Why is that?”

“I’m not good enough.”

“I’m sure that’s not true. You wouldn't have been picked for the foxes otherwise.”

“It is true, I’m not being modest or insecure or whatever, it’s fact. The only reason I got picked was because Andrew recruited me.”

“Now, I don't want to contradict you. Maybe you aren’t the best player but believing you’re not good enough is a fact is not healthy. This belief also might cause the consequences to make your playing worse and lead to you to not reach your full potential.”

“Uh-huh,” Robin says trying to take in that message but failing. She’s crap. There’s nothing else to it. But she is going to improve, she thinks if she tries hard enough she might be able to make it to alright.

The rest of the session is filled with mindless chit-chat. She tries to guide the conversation from the mindless small talk she hates but ultimately fails. Still, Robin does get enough of an understanding of how Bee works to like her. She even organised a proper session with her for next week. She’s not sure if Bee can help her but she thinks she’ll find sessions with her comforting and Robin supposes that’s enough. She’d stopped looking to be “fixed” a long time ago.

Bee and Robin say their goodbyes in her office but Bee follows Robin down the hall to the waiting room in order to collect Aaron. Aaron sits in the waiting room on a blue couch but unlike when Robin left him, he isn’t alone. Aaron is brighter than Robin has ever seen him, he radiates.

It’s because of his companion, who he’s talking to, she’s all sunshine and Aaron is basking in her. Robin doesn’t blame him. The girl is beautiful with hair like butterscotch and a healthy hue about her. As if the world hadn’t gotten to her yet, or she wouldn’t let it get to her and put up a golden shield against it.

The girl is the first to notice Robin and Bee and nudges Aaron to shift his attention. They both stand as Robin and Bee step up to them and Bee greets them kindly as Robin stands awkwardly. She thinks she’ll get away with saying nothing but the girl latches her focus onto Robin.

“Hey, I’m Katelyn.” 

“Robin,” Robin breathes out in response.

“Can I hug you? Is that something you’re comfortable with?” Katelyn asks which Robin thinks is weird but also considerate.

“Um...yes?”

At the answer, Katelyn practically throws herself at Robin and wraps her arms tightly around her. They are squeezed close enough that Robin is sure that Katelyn can feel her pounding heart from across their chests. 

When Katelyn releases Robin she still keeps a hold of her shoulders as she surveys her from head to toe. Twice. And then slowly a massive grin creeps across her face until Katelyn is practically glowing.

“Oh, I love you,” Katelyn announces.

“You don’t know her,” And even in saying that Aaron has a fondness in his voice.

“Quiet you,” Katelyn says, “Don’t you have a session to get to?”

And he does so Aaron and Katelyn kiss goodbye before Aaron disappears down the hall with Bee.

Katelyn’s attention returns to Robin as soon as Aaron is gone from sight, “I should probably explain who I am. I’m a vixen, a science major, and Aaron’s girlfriend.”

“I’m a fox, a scared freshman, and I’m nobody’s girlfriend.”

Katelyn grins again, “I like you.”

“I’ve been downgraded to like now have I? You loved me a second ago.”

“I do love you, Robin, I do. I can already tell we are going to be the best of friends, probably because I’ll just force myself on you until that happens but does it really matter how we get there if the end result is friendship?”

“You really are a cheerleader. What makes you think I need any friends?” Robin says despite the fact that she really, really, does need friends.

“Well those foxes are a right sorry lot, you’ll need a break from them at some point or another. I can assure you the vixens are a much more welcoming bunch. We are also a lot more fun. We know how to  _ partaaayyyyy _ .”

“Partying isn’t really my thing,” Robin tells her. Robin feels as though she might be being a bit too blunt with Katelyn but she can’t seem to help it. It’s like she needs to balance out the chirpiness that Katelyn projects.

“We’ll fix that.”

Robin raises her eyebrows, “Will you now?”

Katelyn’s grin turns mischievous, “You’ll see.”

Robin didn’t think she would. She wanted to but she doubted Katelyn meant anything she said. She was probably this nice to everyone she met, she was probably best friends with everyone. She’d get bored of Robin soon enough.

But it’s nice to imagine as they chat for the half an hour that Aaron is in with Bee. Nice to imagine that Robin has someone on her side of the court for once. Especially since classes start soon and she might need that support to help with the terror filling her lungs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)


End file.
